Just When You Thought You'd Had Enough, We Talk About Straws.
There you are, mindin ya own business when we decided to bring up friggen straws at friggen cawfee.
But why shouldnt we talk about straws?
If you already read my article: Smiling About Coffee, then you know that drinking coffee from a straw has many benefits. (Like not wanting to punch someone in the friggen face for not usin a straw, If that's your thing.)
Benefits liking keeping the dark staining effects off coffee further from your friggen teeth, and if you're using an awesome Jogo Coffee Straw like me then you're smart and you can make coffee with it and keep any grounds that might have snuck in away from your friggen face pal.
Big coffee companies like Starbucks and Dunkin have already moved to the use of straws for many of their coffee products.
On top of the awesome health benefits having your own straw means you don't have to use someone else's, like that Tree's straw down the road, or the straw it will get made into if you don't buy your own straw you nature murderin piece a gahbage!
Actually, I don't even care about the friggen trees, I just wanted to give nature lovers like Mahk more of an excuse to buy a coffee straw, because I love everything that has ANYTHING to do with Friggen Cawfee, and if you don't like that, well then FORGET YOU!
But even more so If you do love nature stuff and smart people like me you can also buy straws made of friggen cawfee!
Look right below for the most amazing straw that I pretty much invented myself.
BOOM! There's you a friggen straw made out of actual coffee.
And while they don't flavor your drink (oh dahn) they do smell like delicious coffee and are legit made of coffee.
Obviously they break back down into nature since they're made of cawfee.
And obviously there's no plastic or dead tree pahts in them either.
So you can rest easy by buying some or you can keep bein a tree hatin murderer like me and not care.
(I bought some too because of the coffee smell. Shuddup.)
Anyways you can do whateva you want. I don't really cares I just wanna drink some friggen cawfee. So leave me alone now, thanks for readin this ENLIGHTENING ahticle. Now go away.
Remembah if you don’t drink cawfee, you’re dumb.
See ya later.
Oh one more thing, like I’ve said before, if you have questions or want to email me then go away.
I have lackies like Mark that work for me to do that kinda stuff. He’s all polite and proper and he’ll actually be nice to you, unlike me.
You can email that moron at Mark@friggencawfee.com.
P.S. Screw you pal.